Acquisitions Incorporated

Our Company

Incky the Sigil here, with a word of warning about Acquisitions Incorporated! I must warn you… they're great! And the best! They never do things like magically animate their corporate icon, give it all the drives a living thing would have, and then make it mechanically impossible to satisfy them! Here's a few of my current captors, with notes from our CEO, Omin Dran!

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The History of Acquisitions Incorporated

At Acquisitions Incorporated, you inquire - and we acquire™. For nearly twenty years, other people have had things you've really wanted and we've gone over there to get those things, even if they didn't want us to do that. Typically, they don't. But we don't work for them, we work for you™. We've acquired it all, but we specialize in staves, gems, and storied weapons of great lineage. We do apply a reasonable surtax for rods, because rods. It's been a problem. This is AcqInc in a nutshell:

Defenses negotiable. Merchandise plentiful. Franchises available.

Acquisitions Incorporated: It's In The Name™.

Yelp Rating

4.9
Reviews

"This is my son's company. It is very good. If you need good adventurers they have them and the rates are good considering the danger they can be put in." - First Lance Prophetess Dran, Paladin of Tymora (Ret.)

"Sent them to retrieve a rod, but it was returned to me in several pieces." - Greb Sultana

Competitors

Dran Enterprises

They say acquisition is a family business, and it's certainly true for those of my house. I hadn't seen my sister, Auspicia Dran, for years—decades—and then out of nowhere she returns with fresh branding and despicably evil backing, trying to acquire Acquisitions Incorporated. Being acquired ourselves is definitely not on brand, and I have definitely refused this offer. But I would like to know what the dental plans are like there, for a completely separate and unrelated reason.
- Reviews
  
  "If you are like me, you sometimes have need of assistance in a world that is spiralling out of control. That is not the wind, it is the beating of demon wings, so don't settle for the rest. I am posting this of my own free will." - Satisfied Customer
  
  "No vendor more knowledgeable… about the Criminal Underworld." - Theft Weekly
The Six

A new player on the scene, which, to me, implies inexperience. Do you want to entrust your next acquisition to an agile new team? Actually, don't answer that. They have some kind of beef with Acquisitions Incorporated. I know that because they hand out pamphlets with my face on them, and there's one of those circles with the slash through it. Seems bad. Also, there's something about their logo I don't like… I can't put my finger on it. People are saying they're weird and gross, and who am I to say otherwise.
- Reviews
  
  "I had tremendous misgivings about The Six, until I tasted of their sweetest fruits. I am home now to a profound will that is not my own, and I burn with its dark purpose." - My Eyes And My Mouth Are Theirs To Command
  
  "Part cult, part… Well, it's basically a cult, yeah." - Sammon Librus, Cultologist
The Silver Sliver

I feel like making your company's name a tongue twister is a bold move in this marketplace; I wouldn't have done that. I've told them on multiple occasions that I'm available for consulting on things like this—no response. Headed up by Glimmr Violente: a woman devoted to not just the cause of Justice in the abstract, but the literal application of justice via a scimitar. Her band of true-believers do the whole shiny mask thing and don't charge for their services… that's another thing I wouldn't do.
- Reviews
  
  "Our small village–no more than a hundred souls–was under attack by bandits. As they descended on our main gate, their cries piercing the dawn, they suddenly fell silent. Peering over the wall, afraid of what I might see, I saw three figures in silver masks. One saluted me…me! And they left. No less than thirty lay dead." - Hypatia Jotun, Giant's Cross